Pages from the past...

Its been a while since this blog has seen some action....!!!!
Well...pardonez moi for the lack of new concoction......!!!!

The apologies done with...this is a draft that I composed maybe a month back. It was renegated to the long list of drafts adorning my blogger dashboard...!!! I just discovered it now...and found it very amusing that the very fact that it is an incomplete draft is ironical considering the content of the intended post...!!!
Check it out...!!

For all those people who were a part of my life...and now are nothing more than smiling faces in my album. Flashes from the past reentering my mind on a reminiscing trip...only to be renegated again to a amnesiac memory.

For all those people...about whom I knew every little detail...the scar on the right eyebrow, the dark brown pupils set distinctly against the white of the eye in perfect dark-chocolated rimmed circles. They are now blurs..blobs of flesh fading away into the distance.

For all those people...who are still a part of my life...and yet arent a part of my life. Voices heard on the phone...on birthdays, festivals...

I am...

I am the evening sun...
wanting to rest my tired self...wanting to immerse myself in the calming waters of the ocean..!! And yet I cannot...for the little boy answering his exams is clinging onto my last rays. I cannot let him down.

I am the express train...
passing through the lush green fields, gazing at the meandering river..its crystal clear waters sparkling like diamonds. I long to run through the fields...the yellow mustard flowers beckon me.!! And yet I cannot leave my track...for the seven hundred passengers have trusted me with their lives. I cannot let them down.

I am the water bearer...
the leather water bag grinding into my hip. The hot desert sun burning onto my parched skin. The mirages playing hide and seek with my delirious mind. Eternal sleep beckons me.!! And yet I cannot...for the desert life awaits me with thristy eyes. It has trusted me with the elixir of life. I cannot let it down.

I am Atlas...
shoulders sagging with the weight of the earth and its worries. The flat ground invites me to lay down...my spine in perfect harmony with the ground. And yet I cannot...for I lifted the weight onto my shoulders...for today..for eternity.
And I cannot let myself down.

Amen !!

but it rained...

It rained in Bangalore last night. Not the multi-directional jets hitting you with the fury of the heavens, the way it does in Goa. But a light drizzle..just enough to soak the earth and adorn the breeze with that smell which can give Chanel a run for their money...only if it can be packed in a bottle.

I stepped onto the road at 9.30 in the morning and the breeze hit my face..gently...just like a mother lightly slapping a child for making a cheeky comment. The divine smell had persisted through the night in the cracks of the tarred road and was now rising upwards with the heat of the morning rays.
I carefully negotiated the wet patches on the road, not wanting to get my sandals all wet and dirty. The road was jammed...as always. Bikes and autos alike were being manouvered through the gaps, drivers at their slithering best.
I hailed an auto "C V Raman Nagar chalna hai" !!! "10 Rs extra madam" !!! usual story....waited for 5 minutes. After 6 autos, one which didnt come with a price tag of +10 extra !!! Its become an everyday duel...the autowallah v/s me...prize at stake..10 Rs..and maybe a deeper sense of pride and principle.

The auto inched ahead through the traffic. The heady smell of the soaked earth transported me to a different place...to a different age.
An age of new raincoats which oddly smelt of bubblegum; the mickey mouse prints smiling incorrigibly at the raindrops pelting down. An age of opening new fresh notebooks with lines in set of three...and smelling the pages. Polished black shoes getting soaked in the puddles, the water seeping up through the nylon socks. Umbrellas turning inside out with the strong breeze. Uniforms not drying in the rainy days...the sheer joy of wearing casual clothes to school. Splashing water on the puny kid who always had a runny nose. Endless memories pouring down...just like raindrops that poured down in those days. crystal clear droplets mirroring moments lost in the years.

"Yahaan se left...haan bas yahhin rok dijiye" I had reached office.
After paying him 30 Rs (even these electronic meters are rigged!!), I walked along the driveway to the entrance. The huge airconditioned edifice stood before me, intimidating, stifling.....!!!! I looked at the beehive hanging down from the roof....the bees were involved in a dance of their own...carefree creatures of the world. I took one deep breath and swiped my card. The whiff would last me a day...