Epiphany

An excerpt from 'Notes to Myself'
by Hugh Prather

I talk because I feel, and I talk to you
because I want you to know how I feel.

My statements are requests.
My questions are statements.
My trivia is an invitation to be friends.

My gossip is a plea: Please see me as
incapable of that. Please respect me.

My arguments insist: I want you to show
respect for me by agreeing with me. This
is the way I say it is.

And my criticism informs you: You hurt my
feelings a minute ago.

reflection

Dug up something from the past...

You are everything I hate in me
Perfect ivory whites smiling
when you want to cry
Lips dancing to cheer
all when the heart is wry
Eyes jade with envy
None but one you see
Wanting to possess
but being owned not
Expecting the world
but expressing naught
Walking away at will
Drawing close on a whim
Leaving the other empty
At times filled to the brim
The taunting laugh. The brusque word
Throwing caution to the air
Hiding more than you reveal
With not a care to spare
Wanting the other to think
the way you think and feel
Treating every yes and no
as though it were a deal
Spiteful in giving
Revengeful in loving
The skewed morality, the flawed soul
The two faces each playing its role
to perfection
No trace of affection
Wanting to do a thousand things
Uncommitted to a single one
Not settling for the moon
'cos you think you can have the sun
Lost in thought
Unfounded in act
High on opinion
Sub-zero on tact
Living in a fantasy
Holding on to a dream
Turning your back to reality
Humming when you want to scream
Captive in your freedom
Deceptive in your truth
Zealous.Jealous.Shallow.Callous
Euphoric.Ennui.Morose.Free.
You are everything I hate in me
You are everything I hate to be

p e a c e.

so what does it take to make
your peace with someone?
a sorry. a phone call.
or maybe some writing on the wall.
a meeting over coffee.
a shared smoke. a tad too sweet tea.
flowers for the romantics.
apology in blood. more fancy antics.
a joke you can't help laughing at.
a kiss. a hug. a smile. the doff of a hat.
a word. a touch. maybe just good old silence.
with the moments ticking by
a fight.insults.fists.slaps
tears smarting and stinging the eye.

when all is well and ends well
and peace is made with someone
you sit back and wonder how long before
you make your peace with all that was said and done

great expectations

expectations.
what color are they? the grey of a pregnant cloud?
or the yellow-green of bile rising in your throat?
in what shapes and sizes do they come?
big round encompassing circles?
pointy skinny triangles that poke, no matter any which way you turn them?
how do they look like?
knitted eyebrows? wringing hands?
sheepish grins? sneering lopsided grins?
i would like to meet one of them.
look them in the eye.
and then walk away.
whistling my own tune.
down my own way.

the inner circle

sometimes i want to fly....far far away from them all
doubting thomases and peeping toms
snooty susies and cheap floozies
comments and opinions galore
politics and perspectives
attitudes and agendas
lilacs and magentas
bitch sessions. cat fights
and a whole lot of puppy love
cheap thrills. expensive tastes.
carbon emissions and plastic wastes.
what nexts and why mes
i-told-u-sos and let-me-bes
future planning, living in the present
getting in touch with the past
fashions that come and go
things that are built to last
tantrums, arguments and jealousy
joy, happiness and ecstasy
frustrations. disgust.
hunger and a lil bit of thirst
love and war
war and peace
peace and solitude
solitude and bliss
mourning and celebration
thumbs down. standing ovation.
wants, needs, cravings
the haves. the have-nots
and the we-dont-cares

sometimes i want to fly away from them all....
but i am a part of them. they are a part of me.

Unbreak...

habits made. habits broken.
promises made. promises broken.
hearts won. hearts broken.
trust earned. trust broken.
bonds formed. bonds broken.

a day to mend.
a lifetime to unbreak.

if...

if for every dream dreamt
there would be memories
if every regret entitled you
to a second chance
and each mistake made
could be undone
if every laugh laughed
could be held in the hands
and cupped to the ear
if for every nightmare
two hands would protect
and hold you close
if every moment spent
could be earned back
and spent again
if every tear that fell
tickled the lips
into a smile
if every thought that
crossed the mind
could be frozen for a second
and let loose again
if life could be lived again
through all the ifs
and enjoyed all the same...