My friends thought I was joking
when I said I am an alien
My freak quotient shot up
in a day by ten gazillion
I showed em' my control board
they oh-aahed and said 'fancy'
I even pulled out my tentacles
they called me cute n pansy
I stood in the dark for a day
till my batteries all but ran out
I got 'em charged up in the sun
and still they had some doubt
meanwhile my leader up there
in gynaemeda seven
drummed his fingers in impatience
and looked up at the heaven
my ten years of undercover life
as Rajinder Parsad Sahani
was falling apart in seconds
as they called it a 'Kahani'
And then the divinity radar
picked up my SOS beep
riding on a cloud of dust
came a red and yellow jeep
Out jumped a young lady
mike n camera in tow
she drew a big red circle
covering me head to toe
flashes popped, cameras rolled
i grunted and spoke into 'em
moved my tentacles, flashed my lights
and even showed 'em my pink phlegm
The next evening on prime time
'Alien attack' made the headline
the young lady with the chaste hindi
assured you all was not fine
They asked 'who is he'?
or could 'he' be 'she'?
will the aliens capture earth?
and will they set humans free?
why did they abduct the cow?
was it for the milk?
if they wear clothes like us
will they next want our silk?
And thus my ten year long mission
was finally a success
after a secret small town life
disbelief, ridicule and stress
Now my leader full of glee
to take me back will agree
for now humans are aware
that aliens are out there
all thanks to a TV channel
who even have a panel
discussing us 24x7
for which I thank thee heaven
(an entirely uninspiring bit of prose, inspired
entirely by a feature on aliens on a 'certain' news channel
all characters in this post are completely fictional...and no,
I do not know any Rajinder Parsad Sahani...dead or alive, tentacles
or no tentacles :)
6 comments:
those media ppl should be tortured by making them listening to the real vogon poetry!! nice post.. heh
Good one!
:)
Somehow I feel there is some 'hidden' meaning to this poetry with reference to the media or the (otherwise alien) people who 'use' media!
nice nice :)
So cute. We should make it a nursery rhyme i say.
@shiv : hehe...as soon as we get our hands on one...n translate them into hindi too :p
@bhavin : no hidden meaning...just straightforward inspiration from india tv
@aarti : thankoo thankoo :)
@hems : nice idea hems...maybe in the baa baa black sheep tune.. ;)
shouldn't vogon poetry be "the Third worst poetry in the universe" and that "On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you" :)
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