Saturday, February 17, 2007

mid-afternoon blues

Anguish rises to the throat like bitter bile from a much-starved stomach!!! It drowns the words, silences the scream and strangles the breath!!! A solitary tear finds its way to the eyes. Falling down softly over the cheek, leaving a trail of miseries behind…catharsis.

Pain is stabbing the heart with a sharp dagger blunted at the tip. Ripples of pain wash over the lub-dubbing lump of flesh and fade away. They don’t reach the face….they don’t reach the ends of the lips, curved in a smile. A song is playing in the background “Why are you smiling so much beloved…what pain are you hiding behind that smile?” Life creates beautiful montages in its wake…

Why the pain? Why the pangs that arise at irregular intervals making one wanting to scream in anguish and pour the cup that brimmeth over in one’s eyes for the world to see? PUO I call it….pain of unknown origin. A steely resolve grips the heart. A quivering lip bites on a finger….an amnesiac mind racks itself for a beautiful memory. And the canvas splattered with visceral pain is painted over with a collage of happy memories. Forgetting is haute couture…camouflage is street fashion…

A pair of kohl-lined eyed are looking out of the open door at the world outside. The birds are reveling on the tree in the soft evening light. The evening brings to her doorstep a procession of unannounced visitors as faces from the past file in through the door and enter her mind. The tree is dancing in a thousand blurred images. She wipes her eyes and closes the door. Darkness rushes in through the crack in the door. Darkness is her anodyne…..

2 comments:

H.S. said...

Pain of unknown origin.
Isn't it that thing that follows us the faster we try to run away from it?

Shivani Gakhar said...

Is this the one you wrote after class... u know wat i am talking about... u know, when i am really disturbed.. i dont even have the energy to write about it.. its like the frustration/pain/anger/depression blocks everything and doesnt let u express till it is tired of jumbling up ur thoughts in ur brain... know wat i mean?